when you genuinely like and care for someone but can’t express it without being weird
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off
It’s weird to think about how your birth is a fixed point in time but your death is constantly moving based on the decisions you make. The length of your life is always fluctuating.
have you ever had a dream about someone and then you started feeling different about him because of that dream?
mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
'oh gross it's dark chocolate i hate dark chocolate'
give it to me
do you ever just start thinking about sex and zone out for a couple of seconds and stare into space and then you come back and you’re like ah shit i hope no one realised i was thinking about sex just now
we’d probably already have hoverboards if we didn’t spend so much time arguing over whether women are people and if they should be allowed to do science